Asynchronous Similarity

I don’t get it. I’ve read in numerous publications and been advised by a lot of so-called ‘experts’, that love needs some kind of similarity between the 2 parties, to make it work. But then again, the same person says that your true love should make yourself complete.

To me, this is confusing. To make another person complete, we need something that that other person do not have. That is simple math. But then, how can we be similar, if we also need to be different at the same time?

Maybe it’s a different set of similarity and another different set of difference, that makes one whole? Like a silent guy couples with a chatty girl but both loves swimming? If it is so, then whom do we really love then?

I don’t know, as I said, I’m in a confused state right now. It’s not easy coping with differences, while at the same time, looking for similarities. It’s weird too, at times.

It’s easier to find this kind of similar differences in a friendship, and I guess that’s why I got another advice: to be the best lover, is to be his/her best friend.

Easier said than done, I say, since the most explosive relationships I’ve seen are those whose best friend become their couple. It’s as if all those similarities become differences, and all differences no longer completes each other.

In the old Malay tradition, and some others like Indian and such, couples are met by their parents, and only after marriage would the ice-breaking starts. For the lucky ones, this proves to be a blessing, since, by sheer coincidence or skillful matchmaking, they really found the one that they are looking for. The rest, have to endure the mismatch for the rest of their life, by swallowing the differences, and focusing on the similarities and the parts which are completed by each other.

More often than not, breaking up is the option.

But there are cases of someone braving the current and finding out that they’re indeed are completing each other’s life. It’s just they are not aware of it, since the most obvious ones are usually the differences that causes them trouble.

Love is indeed a weird thing, where 2 opposing people, can find both differences and similarities attracting, but as long as they can make the attraction lasts, the relationship will hold.