Qubepedia #2

It’s late, the PC’s doing its job, I’m bored, and I’m stuck at the office. So let’s do this:

Marketing – mar·ket·ing (mär’kĭ-tĭng), n, a commercial function to make people spend all their money on you and still feel great about themselves doing it.

Finance – fi·nance (fə-năns’, fī-, fī’năns’), n, the science of how to spend a lot with still lots of money to spare (source: Nina)

Advertising – ad·ver·tis·ing (ăd’vər-tī’zĭng), n, an activity of persuading a potential client to spend money on what the potential client doesn’t need. Anything that is in need or a necessity do not require advertising.

Advertiser: he would try to persuade you to buy goat milk’s soap

Good Advertiser: He would try to persuade you to buy goat milk’s soap and try to make you his downline.
Best advertiser: He persuaded you to buy goat milk’s soap, you’re his downline, and you’re thinking of opening a goat farm.
Worst Advertiser: He was persuaded by you that his product is useless and now he’s your gardener.

Television – tel·e·vi·sion (tĕl’ə-vĭzh’ən), n, see idiot box

Radio – ra·di·o (rā’dē-ō), n, see blind idiot box.

Idiot Box – id·i·ot box (ĭd’ē-ət bŏks), n, a rectangular box that can influence people to do something unwillingly, kill brain cells and make people idiots (hence the name), became an important icon of life that people organize their life around an idiot box’s schedule; blind idiot box, similar to the idiot box sans the imagery, thus making it a little less idiotic.

Handphone – hand·phone (hănd-fōn), n, cellular phone, mobile phone, A communication device that has become a necessity. Depending on the model, a handphone can:

  • make prank calls
  • forward (supposedly) cute short text messages.
  • send short text messages with pictures and videos of yourself naked. (kids, dont try this at all)
  • take pictures and listen to music while riding the slow public transport.
  • irritate people with loud, silly and frequent ringtones. Especially so if the ringtone is set to the max and rings evertime you get an SMS during a chat session.
  • be thrown to stray dogs chasing you. It is best if the model was made at least 5 years back or older. The older the model, the more damage it can cause.

Blog – blog (blŏg), n, Something to spend your time on while waiting for your computer to process something long and write something stupid like this to sound funny , sexy and genius.


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