I have a gripe about women. You all know, how much women would love to blame us men about us using the word love to gain access to ‘backstage VIP passes’ to the ladies’ lives, body and belongings, if you know what I mean.
Yes, it’s true. Both the fact that women are pretty gullible when it comes to expressions of feelings from men (especially if it’s their dream guy or something like that), and men do take advantage of this design flaw.
However, after reading much rantings about this from women, not many stood up for men, who are played by women, either intentionally or not. We too, are gullible to expressions of feelings, but more towards actions, rather than only words.
Trust me, I’ve been there, and as I’m typing this, I know at least 2 person, either intentionally or not, playing with another guy’s feelings.
I’m not the type that girls fell head over heels for. And it’s my type of guys, that falls under the category of being ‘gullible to the expression of love’. Nerd, timid, insecure, lack of personality, frail kind of guys. The nice guys (as what a friend of mine described us as), so to speak. Just show some extra care to us, and our hearts would be jumping all over at the prospect that ‘I might have a chance’.
Especially if the girl are that of the popular, outgoing, model type. I blame the movies for giving us this wild imagination.
Once the nice guy has the hope of getting on with the beauty, he’ll do the Beauty and The Beast thing, he’ll be protective of you, be extra nice to you, be supportive of you, and even take a bullet or two for you. At times, you’d just wish your boyfriend’s like him.
See, she’d wish her boyfriend’s like him, but not wishing that she would have someone like the nice guys. There are, but those are quite rare. Looks and personality still counts.
It’s not that the beautiful girls don’t like insecure, nerdbut nice guys, it’s just most of them prefer those who are the man’s man, with a hint of machoness, and arrogance. The nice guys maybe the husband material, but for a good time, we don’t quite cut it.
I know, that most of the times, the girl in question are just being nice, but sometimes, it looks like as if they do have feeling on the guy. And to make it worse, they just won’t mention about their boyfriends, or that they don’t have any feelings whatsoever and waits for the guy to ask first.
Some, even avoided mentioning about their boyfriends, for the fear of losing the nice guys. I just find this selfish. They’re playing with peoples’ hearts, just like the guys they hated for playing with theirs.
My advice to all the women out there, who think that they are in this position, please make clear to the ‘nice guy’, that the both of you are just friends. if you have a steady boyfriend, please make it a point to mention it to them earlier in the relationship.
If all this fails, and the guy still wants you, don’t run away. They’re already insecure without knowing that girls are actually running away from them. A little space may be the best way, and most importantly, do not give any hints of hope, unless there is an actual hope for you to be with him.
Oh, don’t forget to mention all this on a regular basis. We tend to forget about it from time to time, especially when our minds are clouded yet again by the so-called hope, or sometimes, we just thought that after all this while, you might have changed your mind. Don’t do it blatantly like ‘I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend..’, since that is like asking him to go away, but try to use the word ‘my boyfriend’ in your conversation.
At least, they’re not under the impression that you’re avoiding them, or trying to hide something. In fact, he would be honoured that you want to share about it with you, ins tead of him knowing it from other sources
For the nice guys, you do have a chance, but only if you do it right. While we might lack in physical appearance, we can make it up with personality. So please, try to change. Insecurity in men are a huge turn-off. I learnt this the hard way.
If you’re sure that they’re giving you a hint of sorts that they might like you, do not jump into conclusions that they are. It might be a trap, or it may be just you. So thread carefully, keep an open eye for any signs of she’s playing a fool out of you, or if it’s actually genuine.
Most importantly, do not put your hopes up too high. It hurts more if it falls.